Scared

I have always ignored what I really feel or how much it exactly hurts, how much I have changed as a person, how much mature and old I have become.. I have never acknowledged all these facts, I shoved them at the back of my head in an area which I have never dared to open since I fear there will be too much, infact too many questions that I have left there unanswered. I feel my being will consider me accountable for all those queries and will expect me to ease them out to provide comfort.. emotionally, mentally and somewhat physically too.. I fear that I would never be able to answer those questions.. I know this for a fact that those emotions locked up there will haunt me, they will remind me of what I don't have and the wounds that have been sedated by me will wake up and they will burn and ache.. Those wounds have the capability to break me down, they have that much power in them.. I took these wounds as they came, slowly and steadily I braced them but I do not have the energy to bear them all at once. The reason I stay silent about what I feel is that I am scared of myself.. I am scared to look in the mirror to actually see where I stand.. How broken and withered I have become..